What I’m bringing to 2019 (and what’s staying behind)
Ok, let me just get this off of my chest. 2018 was a hard year in the Crazy House. The business was great, but we had some massive ups and downs in our personal lives. It has not been an easy year for many people that I know as well. If 2018 was your year, that is awesome, congrats and I am so happy for you. I am putting this out there in the universe now, and I am claiming 2019 as MINE.
So, rather than focusing on the negative that was 2018, I am going to carry the lessons learned into this new year to make this year better than last.
Hug those you love and make sure they know they are loved. Death was a fairly consistent theme this year. Whether it was the loss of a Mama Bear in an online community, the unexpected death of my step-dad, the heartbreaking loss of an online friend’s angel, or the final cameo of a geek icon, death was present the whole year. It struck often and without warning, taking those we least expected to go. It also wanted to make sure that we were always on our toes and away. Nothing screamed this louder than yesterday morning, when my Dad’s house caught fire with him, my step mom and little sister in it. Everyone got out safe, but it really hit home with the “you never know” of it all. So, I am making sure 2019 is the year everyone important in my life knows how I feel about them. This means more heart to heart talks with Mombot, more alone time with Hubs, and more experiences and memories made with my germ monkeys (niece and nephews) and little sister as she preps for college. In short, it means taking more time with those I love.
Communicate with your significant other, even if it hurts! I saw 6 relationships crumble and burn this year. They burnt to ash, a few of them ending so charred that any good memories were roasted beyond recognition. These were not fly by night relationships but ones (including several seemingly happy marriages) that I thought were going the distance, a few I even likened to my own. But, then out of nowhere, they just went poof. Hubs and I are both making it a point to communicate with each other. We are using WAY less passive aggressive techniques and spending more time talking about what’s important and why. Rather than focusing on what is wrong, we are finding ways to fix issues before they become problems.
It’s ok to not have kids. Let me repeat that for the people in the back, it’s ok to not have kids. If you have followed us for any length of time, you know we wanted Crazy kids and after lots of pokes and prods, we found out that it wasn’t going to be easy, maybe not even possible. Hubs and I agonized over what to do. We couldn’t afford adoption, there were roadblocks for fostering, surrogacy came with an even bigger price tag and on and on. It is extremely easy for someone who has never had to look at those options to sit back and go on and on about options, but trust me when I say, where we are in our life, there were none left. So, we decided to be happy. We are happy with our life. We are happy spending time with the germ monkeys and sending them home to my sister. That is what it boils down to, we are happy and I refuse to feel guilty about choosing to not pursue having kids. If you want kids, that’s awesome. If you don’t want kids, that’s equally as awesome. No one should dictate whether you do or not, so for the first time in a long time, I am happy to be child-free and feel great about it! I am taking this new found sense of freedom into 2019 and will be spending it spoiling the germ monkeys rotten!
My health is my business. I am fat. Trust me, I know. I am making changes every day that help me live a healthier life. They are my decisions and mine alone made with the knowledge and support of my doctor. I don’t have to justify myself to anyone and 2019 will be the year I don’t shrink away embarrassed or feeling judged. I know I am doing what is best for me, whether it be eating differently or choosing to have a hysterectomy. I don’t need anyone’s permission or opinion. If I choose to take an anti-anxiety pill to help me cope with large crowds and stress, then I will. I will do what I need to do to stand up for myself and not only survive, but thrive!
Choose happy. This post isn’t going to cover everything that made 2018 such a hellish year and that is ok. I realized about a third of the way through the year that how I chose to react to situations went a long way in how I saw the world. So, with that in mind, I started to choose to be happy, or kind, or positive, whatever the situation called for. Rather than looking at the dark or negative side, I am looking on the bright side. It has immensely changed my life for the positive. Even though this year has been extremely rough from start to finish, I know if I can look for the proverbial silver lining it will be ok. That is the lesson i will be carrying with me every day.
I will be ordering a hand stamped card with these 5 reminders on it so that I can carry it with me and have a physical reminder when the days get tough. What would be on your list?
It is really easy to caught up in the negative of any situation but I truly believe if we all can just remember to breathe and take a few steps back from the ledge we can have a happier, healthier life. I look forward to making 2019 my year!